I just want to scream "fuck" as loud as I can. If I were to yell said word, I would follow it by a stream of all other curses that I know. I would probably then begin to cry. Then yell some more. And finally just go break something as thoroughly as I possibly could. After that, i would presumably be calmer, and I would try to do something to mend my mental state of disarray, confusion, anger, whatever the hell you want to call it. I'm so tired of life. It is really not worth living when you think about every single fucking thing that happens and live in a place with such ridiculously disjointed, hateful people.
Goddammit is right!! Hate the world! Be mad at the world! Let your anger distract you from everything and consume your every thought and feeling.
ReplyDeleteIs that really what you want to do? Do you enjoy putting yourself through hell? It sounds like you are burning inside.
Let me suggest an activity. Go hiking with a friend that you trust and care deeply about. Go to the top and scream as loud as you can! Cry! Yell! Let the whole world know how angry you are, and then stop. Breathe. And sit. Marvel at the universe. The beauty of the mountains that surround you.
I just wanted to stew in the anger cycle for a bit. It was selfish, and the post was an over-accentuation of the anger that I had. I was trying to convey a sense of powerful anger--not the apathy that I actually felt.
ReplyDeletei've just recently re-read the book, this time in English, and boy, i didn't remeber i had so much in common with mr.caulfield. or that our age and time is so similar to the fakeness of 50's NY. i guess we never ever learn...
ReplyDeleteYell the fuck out of ur anger.
Break stuff.
Slam doors.
Slam fists against windows and mirrors.
Hey, Nerstes, isn't everybody a little bit Caulfield? Well, everybody worth knowing at least...? ^-^
ReplyDeleteAnger or apathy, why not give old anonymous' suggestion a try, trusted friend or no. Or do you have more important things to do?