I moved into my new dorm for this year today. I said goodbye to my parents; I met my new roommate. My room is absolutely frozen (which is a good thing). I have made up my mind to go join all the engineering and chemistry clubs I can find, the LGBTQ organization on campus, an anime club, a soccer team, and maybe frisbee again. We'll see.
I spent my summer working and dicking around, watching anime, loving tumblr, and hating reddit. It was time well-wasted. One of my friends remarked the other day that all of the really intelligent people she knows are falling into this pattern of having no ambition. It seems to be pretty silly. Some of the smartest people I know just don't want to do anything. I've felt that way for a while; I made a goal a while back to become an old man. I've long espoused that I am an observer; I don't really care about my own gains. I mean, they kind of make me happy, but I prefer not to go out of my way to be particularly successful. It's kind of silly.
I've been thinking a good deal lately. And by that I mean that I've had ideas in the back of my mind for a while now. I have told you all before about that one girl back home whom I consider to be my best female friend. She might still check this page every now and then. We made an agreement to marry each other after college if neither of us had any other person that we were interested in. That seems incredible, exciting to me. We would get married and do married people stuff and it would be great. We would eventually have children, and we would be the parents who just want their child to be happy, no matter what. And I feel that I could make a really good father, and thus a decent husband.
But at the same time, I really want to go out with a guy. I want to experience everything I can in terms of a gay relationship. It's just something that I feel I need to experience.
Anyway, I am well; I'm healthy and content. A little anxious about school and needing to find an internship/research project this year. I don't want to jump into a career where I have to try really hard to be professional. I just want to do my job and be done with it. Why do I have to impress employers and all that stuff? It seems silly. But I am well, overall. I'm hoping that my classes will turn out alright.
And yeah, my autoplay on tumblr is perfect. Don't try to tell me otherwise.
