The Best of "Goddamnit" or "Fucking Hell"?

Today, we will be revisiting the various posts that I have made on this blog.  I have included a short outline of the posts, ranked in descending order of best to less-than-best-but-still-awesome:

1. My Father
2. Who's Right
3. I got bored in some class.
4. Attempt
5. It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims
6. You're such a Narcissist

If you have any other things you can recall from my time as a blogger that you loved either as much as or more than what I have listed here, don't hesitate to comment.  So, onward to the explanations.

1. My Father - This is just one well-written piece, here.   It exclaims logically, quietly, and effectively my feelings for my father and my station in my family.  If I am ever asked to tell how my father has affected my life, I will cite this post.  Also, I feel that I should include a new scene that is shaping my consideration of my father. Here:

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2. Who's Right - The first existential rant.  I garnered a fair bit of attention with this after commenting on Nerstes's blog.  In fact, I think that this post (and my stuff about Pink Floyd) gained me the friendship of Nerstes, Micky, maybe even Billy.  And I am grateful for that.  This references nihilism and Naruto.  What could be a better combination?
3. I got bored in some class. - Oh poetry.  What more can I say than that I love these poems of mine and would like to reform these pieces to give certain parts of them more power.  But I am afraid I might ruin them. I'm also less-than-motivated to rewrite these.
4. Attempt - Again, poetry.  This references the self and the mind--how some things are just too thought-provoking. And how the mind is a wealth of power.
5. It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims - Motivation, questions, Coldplay, role-playing about being young.  What more do you want? I know that I have had a great many rants and incongruous streams of consciousness on here.  They gave me an outlet to face the world.  A productive outlet, at that.  Because I did not mess up my life with existential, nihilistic, paroxysms (Vocab word ftw).  This rant seemed somewhat to make sense.  And I greatly enjoyed writing the dialogue.  It made me feel so justified.
6. You're such a Narcissist - This one is last, because it is not so awesome.  A picture of Narcissus, a tale about what my life is and what is "necessary".  With all the feedback, I realised that I was living on idealism and decided that the post was somewhat stupid.  But I felt like I needed to exposit some things--and a minimalist/survivalist approach seemed appropriate.  I included this last one to show that I am far from infallible and have learned from you all.  

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I hope that you all have enjoyed this trip down memory lane (or exploration into deep depths that was made easier by a tour guide).  Feedback is appreciated.  And again, you may consider other posts of mine to be better.  I just reread through the blog before writing this post, and I felt like doing a little review that would elucidate some of my blog to new readers and those that have not read the blog in its entirety. 

I just realised that I have made 118 posts prior to this one and we are just past the one-year mark.  Thank you for your interest and loyalty.  I love you all.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

 

desiderata - max ehrmann - 1927

Endgame

Back in March, Rise Against released a new album called Endgame.  Today, I am going to give you a bit of a mini-explication.  Each song title will be a link to the song on youtube.  I will only tell you about the first 3 songs, though.  I might continue later.

Architects - This song expresses the shift of responsibility from the old to the new.  Society is divided into two categories: Architects (those who guide their world as they see fit) and Followers (sheep).  As the old generation's architects die off, who will take their place?  Basically, the song asks the question, "How are you going to govern your fate?"

Help is on the Way - This song talks about those in need of aid.  In the music video for the song, hurricane victims are shown huddled on their roof--trapped by the water encircling their house.  "They said they said, help is on the way... but it never came."  The message of the song is to help those in need.  Disasters happen; people struggle.  It is up to their fellow man to send help.

Make it Stop (September's Children) - MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE ALBUM.  And the music video adds to that tremendously.  Seriously, watch it.  This song is all about dealing with homosexuality as a young person.  So many teens consider committing suicide to escape the torment they feel as an outcast, a weirdo, a sin.  And it needs to stop.  You can do SO MUCH MORE by staying alive.  The music video follows three teens (2 boys and a girl) as they pick up a gun, hang a noose, and climb onto a bridge.  Each has been bullied and is on the edge of ending his or her life.  But just before the end, they decide to go on living.  Once they become a little bit older, they become successful in their own way. 

Please, please.  Don't even consider suicide.  It hurts so many people--and not the ones that might deserve it.  Continue living.  Fight through the pain.  Find some sort of outlet.  But don't harm yourself.  Just think of when you are an adult, and you can help those around you.  YOU CAN MAKE THE WORLD RIGHT.  But you end all chance of that--all chance of justice, happiness, truth--when you take your own life.  The ending sequence of the video shows people who have made it through the rough, horrible years and found happiness.

IT GETS BETTER, I promise.  This may sound trite to you, but it is so powerful when you see the number of people who believe it and offer you their support.  There are people who love you.  Plenty of people.  And as much as they want to help, they need you to help yourself.  I.e., DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE. PLEASE.

To all my new readers, this is just one more year

Recently, I had a birthday. YES! I am now 18. I can officially go buy lottery tickets, guns, porn, cigarettes, and a plethora of other less-than-useful THINGS. I can also vote and go to big boy jail. 18 is not really that awesome of a birthday, but it marks a transition from the frivolity of boyhood to the stern, free-form jazz of a man.



I, however, have decided that "maturity"--or as some might call it "dullness"--is not for me. Over the past 18 years, I have been developing a complex, personal morality that allows me to be a good citizen, person, and friend. For this, I do not require maturity as it is commonly seen.

So, this birthday does denote that I am growing. But in terms of efficacy, this is just one more year.

Scottie, thank you for your shout on about this blog. It was very nice and well-executed. To you readers, go check out Scottie's Toy Box if you have not already done so.


http://scottiestoybox.com/

I hope you all have a wonderful day. Enjoy the nyan jazz.

Menage a deux

So far, I have told 10 people.  3 straight males.  1 butch.  1 bi girl.  And 5 straight girls.  I am actually in a bit of a competition with the butch to see who can tell the most people.  She might actually be winning--but not by her own intention.  I have told all 10 of my people.  She has told 7 intentionally--one of which told two other people, making her total 9.  She recently wrote about it on a college app.  She thought it would go straight to the college, but her guidance counselor checked over her application.  So 10 people (that she knows) know about her sexuality.  Technically, we are tied.  But I think I'm winning.

Anyway, why can't more guys be bi or gay?  Life has been disheartening lately.  I've told myself that I am just going to wait until college before I get into any relationships.  But it's definitely a challenge to live romantically alone.  Especially as a teenager.

Lately, I have considered proposing friends with benefits with one of my best male friends.  I don't think he would be offended or weirded out (that's why it is an option to propose it at all).  I told him I was gay a week ago.  And I decided that I would wait at least 1 month before proposing friends with benefits.  But yeah, waiting is not a fun game.  Barriers, why?

As far as a social life goes, life has been minimum.  School has been kicking my ass.  I have AP Calculus, AP Literature and Composition, and Honors Physics.  Calculus homework every night.  Essays, and all sorts of reading shit for English.  Not to mention our research paper due Monday.  And finally, large homework assignments in Physics and huge (6-15 pages typed) lab reports (which the teacher is incredibly picky about).  Also, I am performing medical research in my spare time: lately, I have been so busy that I cannot do that much.

A note about my English research paper: My gaydar for literature is functioning properly.  I DEFINITELY remarked one day while reading, "Oh, wow.  That sounds really gay.  I think my author is gay."  I looked it up, and sure enough, he has gay themes throughout his books and stuff.  Joseph Conrad, btw.  I have more to say about my topic than can be well-expressed in the space given, but I think my paper will be good.  The rough draft is complete.  I just have to edit and finagle in some citations.  I would rather just write about things that I picked up on in the book, but apparently that is not good enough for literary analysis: I must have other sources than just my books.  I am not allowed to have my own ideas.

Questions? Questions? Does anyone have any questions?