I'm still alive.  I've got 32 more hours for my degree; then I'll be out in the work world.  I'm about to turn 21 and I'm mostly okay with myself.  I laugh a good bit now and enjoy funky things.  I don't know if any of y'all are still on blogger but it was fun while it lasted and I wanted to say thank you for your support.  I probably won't be posting here again, if the 9 month absence was not clue enough.  Maybe I should delete.  But then I won't be able to come back in 10 years and laugh at my teenage self.  Life's funny.

Anyway, hope you're all well.  Have a nice life.

Yo look at this update

I listened to the lyrics of a song today (5 Years Time by Noah and the Whale), and they kind of spoke to me.  They reminded me of a girl I know (named Ashley) who probably represents a lot of my friends from high school. 

In five years time I might not know you
In five years time we might not speak
In five years time we might not get along
In five years time you might just prove me wrong

Oh there'll be love love love
Wherever you go
There'll be love

I know it's supposed to have a hipster love song feel, but it made me think of how I steadily and surely do not know people.  We are everchanging, and because I do not go to college with my old friends, we are drifting apart.  The last part made me think of Ashley because right after it, a Florence + the Machine song came on--which is basically her jam.

These days, I would normally post this kind of consideration on my tumblr, but I felt like giving you all an update, sort of.  I somehow still get pageviews every day on this blogger page.

Anyway, I'm doing fine, growing older as time goes by.  I'm a sophomore in college now, and my overall GPA is like a 3.7; so I guess we could say I'm doing fine in my profession as a student.  I've made friends at my university, and I've kept in good contact with some friends from high school. I'm working on getting a summer internship so that I can get another internship next year (for the summer of my junior year) so that I can build my career experience as a chemical engineer.  Once I finish college, I hope to use said internship experience(s) to get a decent job and proceed with my life as an adult who does adult things like die slowly. 

I'm still a weak-willed, sarcastic man-child with a strong sense of self-deprecation and silliness, and I have no major goals besides living life to some extent.  As long as I'm alive and enjoying some things, I am successful.  Another year has come and gone, and I'm still here.

Yo my autoplay is perfect.

I moved into my new dorm for this year today.  I said goodbye to my parents; I met my new roommate.  My room is absolutely frozen (which is a good thing).  I have made up my mind to go join all the engineering and chemistry clubs I can find, the LGBTQ organization on campus, an anime club, a soccer team, and maybe frisbee again.  We'll see.

I spent my summer working and dicking around, watching anime, loving tumblr, and hating reddit.  It was time well-wasted.  One of my friends remarked the other day that all of the really intelligent people she knows are falling into this pattern of having no ambition.  It seems to be pretty silly.  Some of the smartest people I know just don't want to do anything.  I've felt that way for a while; I made a goal a while back to become an old man.  I've long espoused that I am an observer; I don't really care about my own gains.  I mean, they kind of make me happy, but I prefer not to go out of my way to be particularly successful.  It's kind of silly.

I've been thinking a good deal lately.  And by that I mean that I've had ideas in the back of my mind for a while now.  I have told you all before about that one girl back home whom I consider to be my best female friend.  She might still check this page every now and then.  We made an agreement to marry each other after college if neither of us had any other person that we were interested in.  That seems incredible, exciting to me.  We would get married and do married people stuff and it would be great.  We would eventually have children, and we would be the parents who just want their child to be happy, no matter what.  And I feel that I could make a really good father, and thus a decent husband. 

But at the same time, I really want to go out with a guy.  I want to experience everything I can in terms of a gay relationship.  It's just something that I feel I need to experience.

Anyway, I am well; I'm healthy and content.  A little anxious about school and needing to find an internship/research project this year.  I don't want to jump into a career where I have to try really hard to be professional.  I just want to do my job and be done with it.  Why do I have to impress employers and all that stuff?  It seems silly.  But I am well, overall.  I'm hoping that my classes will turn out alright.

And yeah, my autoplay on tumblr is perfect.  Don't try to tell me otherwise.

I'm doing spiffy, how about you>>

I'm sorry for not coming around blogger... like at all in the past month.  anime and work and tumblr have consumed me.  tumblr is hilarious and beautiful and SO SO SAD.  All the fandoms and the people, and it's just great.  I'm not sure how long this will last though.

Happy Mother's Day

I've been a bit out of sorts this past week.  A woman from my church, happily married with a 20 year old daughter, died last week of very acute leukemia.  They had the funeral for her yesterday, and it was terribly sad, terribly touching, but rather well done.  This was mostly due to our excellent pastor.  Her husband and her daughter both spoke, and when the daughter started crying, a floodgate was opened.  Probably everyone in that church (like 300-400 people) just started bawling.  I was no exception.  When the husband spoke, he said that his wife would have wanted him to lighten the mood, but you could tell that he was terribly pained while speaking.  I can't imagine that kind of loss.  Thinking about it makes me realize just how much I should and do love my mother.  I was sitting alone, but my only goal after the service was to find and hug my mom. 

It was a crazy week.  My thoughts are with the family as they grieve their loss.