I moved into college August 18 at Vanderbilt University. And I have no friends. Well, I can count about 7 acquaintances and one or two people who might be considered a friend. So I guess I have a few friends. But that's all. I have been cut off from all of my other friends who went to UTK.
So umm... I really need some tips on making and keeping friends. Like, I'm at a major dilemma. I don't know how to make friends. How do I entertain them? I'm absolutely horrible at small talk and I have this problem where I am absolutely boring. So... How does a weird and quiet person make friends?
All you can do it be yourself, and get out there. There are so many events for new students that mean all you need to do is get out there. I know this sounds trite, but even "wall flowers" find friends if they hang out enough. I know I did.
ReplyDeleteYou say in your profile that life is expedition and exploration. You can only do that if you get out there and try. It's not easy. Fitting in is an art unto itself. But you have to try.
You've been at VU for 13 days. I hope you are living on campus. If not, then not living alone. Your roomie is the first friend. Consider joining a frat. Find clubs that interest you. Uni's have a multitude of clubs for EVERY interest. LGBT, caving, outdoors, radio, you name it.
Take that first step...or two or three...YOU CAN MAKE FRIENDS!!! You are not weird...quiet maybe, but so are many others.
And email me if you want to talk. I'll be glad to offer more...jaygeemmm@gmail.com.
Peace <3
Jay
Did i ever tell you that I really appreciate your comments? Like, they are really helpful.
DeleteI love vandi! and what a great school! I go to university of memphis (phd comp sci) and have worked with Brad Malin a bioinformatics prof at vandi. Ive always been really impressed with the school. Plus nashville is really cool. The whole west end is awesome.
ReplyDeleteYea meeting friends if difficult. If youre quiet and shy then you either need one really good best friend that's not shy that can get you assimilated into a group or you need to find other shy guys that share similar interests. Are you into any kind of geeky subculture things? I'm not so I can't really help there but schools always have anime clubs or gay/straight alliances, or whatever your subculture may be. That's a good place to start. The one thing to remember: there are lots of shy people that are looking for friends. Awkward conversations will always happen at the beginning but once you get past it you'll make good friends. The shy friends are usually the best friends to have in my opinion. I was kind of a shy guy myself at one point. Also don't rush -- but don't get too complacent either. Its really easy to just become that creepy guy that never talks to anyone. It's ok if it takes a year or two but don't let all four years go by without finding a friend group. You will regret it. Seriously. People generally want to be nice to other people. Give them a chance to.
Also- club play is right around the corner from vandi as is another gay bar called Tribe. Play is one of my fav gay clubs in the south. Lotsa fun. Lotsa cute (but stuck up) vandi twinks if youre in to that. And regardless you can always go and just have fun dancing your ass off. They have a nice dance floor.
I go to nashville every once in a while if you ever want to grab coffee or lunch or something. I'm super boring and not creepy.
Steve
BRO, thank you so much for commenting all the time. Just like I said to Jay, your comments are super helpful.
DeleteI joined the frisbee team, and I'm planning on finding the soccer team as well. I'm going to find the LGBTQI center and do something there. And I might try to join some sort of Engineering club or something.
ReplyDeleteAfter writing this post, facebook helped me find some people and establish a slight connection. So, I'm putting myself out there. At least a little bit. And it's working out mostly.
as well as being yourself I would try something new like a social group if you had time to socialise that it this is my first comment hear hope you don't mind.
ReplyDelete