I'm so full of it. I just skimmed through almost all of the previous posts. There were a few decent moments. A post called "Lost" had some good characteristics that still fit, but most of it was just... dumb. Smh. Funny how things change.
Anyway, I still don't have THAT many friends, but I have more than before. It's whatever. I had a major depression moment this weekend. I straight up FAILED my first hour exam on top of being sick; thus, after calling my mom to tell her and receive her comfort, I cried for half a minute. All of it was just catching up to me: the being sick, the failing at my ONE JOB, the being a dumb person, all of it. I feel lots better, I'm meeting with my professor and advisor separately tomorrow, and I feel better--still not alright, but better.
Anyway, life is kind of awesome. There is really no point in angsting all the time about it. I mean, we get one life to live. There's no redos, no do-overs, and rare forgiveness which always costs something. Everything costs something, and if you are not satisfied with your finance history, change it in the future. Think of what is and then think of WHAT COULD BE.
So, my precipice: meh.
I will send this, and ask that you let me think this over since it is very late and night...but I think I have a comment if you'll let me...
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
OMG!!! No more moderation!!! OK, I'll mark this one as UNread and mull it over.
ReplyDeleteJay
Your blog is a bit like life really, it's the decent moments we're here for, and I reckon there's enough of them. Just don't let the shitty moments get you down.
ReplyDeleteEducation is a game, the rules have changed and I'm sure you'll figure out how to beat them again.
Yeah, I know about the education being a game thing. It just kind of hits hard when you actually do perform poorly--especially when it's pretty much all your own fault. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. ;D
DeleteAnd the blog, I think I started it as a sort of journal. It's helped a pretty good bit for me to have a place to vent and rant. I'm sorry that I don't moderate myself better, but I feel like if I don't moderate myself I will have a pure look back at what I used to be. We are ever-evolving, and I want to remember all of this so that I do not have to fight the same battles over and over--or at least, I can learn to win the battles much more easily in the future.
This is a pretty damn mature post, Sergio. Your'e right, you get one life to live. Might as well make the best of it. It's good that you are making some friends. It doesn't take too many (though you can't have too many) to have fun in life. Sorry about the exam, that sucks, but isn't it great that you can call mom and she'll listen.
ReplyDeleteLife is pretty awesome, though it's not always happy, nor fun...sometimes it flat sucks. But having friends means you've got someone to help pick you up!
While you may be looking back at your older posts and think they weren't all that good, but remember, you were younger, less mature or perceptive, and did what a lot of us did when we started our blogs...let your mind run free and write what you felt at the moment.
Very perceptive, buddy.
Peace <3
Jay
Hahaha, this isn't Sergio--though he is a pretty cool kid. I don't moderate my comments at all; so, you can comment however you like. Thanks anyway!
DeleteSorry, I got myself all confused! As an Official Older Fate, i claim the right to be stupid every now and then! I'll keep y'all straight from now on.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
(I'm posting anonymouy cause I'm not on my regular account.)