Brothers

Naaaaaaaaaaantz ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama

Naaaaaaaaaantz ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama
Ingonyama

Siyo Nqoba
Ingonyama

Ingonyama nengw' enamabala
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala

This is what I'll be waking up to each morning for the next semester.  That's right, I put THE CIRCLE OF LIFE on my phone as my alarm for the morning.

I made a post a while back about how I was going to be getting a vehicle and new phone.  Well, I didn't get the phone for Christmas.  Actually, it took about 4 months to actually get the phone because my father was dragging his feet even though he promised the phone as a Christmas present.  Which, beggars can't be choosers, nor should I look a gift horse in the mouth.  But still, he promised. -_-  And the car is basically mine, an old-ish van that we call Charlotte.  BY FAR not the coolest ride, but still, it goes from place to place.  These first two paragraphs had nothing to do with the post, I just felt like sharing.

The reason I am posting tonight is because my older brother stopped by the house for dinner tonight, and he legitimately spent an hour or so saying that he couldn't decide whether or not to try for a big Atlanta internship or to take a sure spot in a local internship.  Can't he make up his mind?

Anyway, ever since he left home, my relationship with my brother has been... minimal, I guess?  We hardly talk anymore unless we want something from the other (which is more him, most of the time) or we are simultaneously picking on our younger brother.  I was the sensitive child; I didn't like to watch American football or basketball, I did gymnastics, and I was picked on.  Basically the word that sums up my young life in regard to my brother is TORTURE though more of a Chinese water torture kind of thing than tie up and whip.  Just everyday he would hit me or mess with me or something which was apparently his way of showing affection.  I didn't like it because it didn't feel all that good to be hit or messed with all the time.  Several times, he would make me lose my temper and it sucked.  At one point, we were at the beach, and I told him that I wished him dead.  That is one of those moments that I now regret.  However, I am getting past it by slowly siphoning myself off from my family.  When college comes in a month, I'm going to cut the cord as much as possible.

How much would you expect to be like your siblings?  How similar does your upbringing make you to them?  For me, there is a major difference between myself and my older brother though both of my brothers are also somewhat more quiet than the average person, with my older brother being the loudest and me being the quietest.  I don't know whether to like, dislike, or feel apathetic toward my brothers.  They are both conservatives, whereas I am a liberal (really, I don't like the political system at all and would rather see something other than partisan politics, but I identify more with the left than the right).  They both are religious, whereas I am not.  They both hate gay people, whereas I love them.  They both support the NRA and war, whereas I think diplomacy is cheaper and kinder (though I really can't say that I value life).  I actually became somewhat psychotic for a day after reading Fight Club.  Darn just broke two rules.  Oh well

Anyway, I just want distance now.  I need to get away.