REBELLION

Sometimes I think that my entire goal in life is to rebel and distance myself from things.  That's why I consider myself a hipster--and not a mainstream hipster (my ace in the hole is either japanese music from Naruto, Charge of the Light Brigade by The Three D's, or Voltaire; very few people can top that).  That's why I fear relationships.  That's why I'm gay?

Those who know do not talk.
Those who talk do not know.

Stop talking,
meditate in silence,
blunt your sharpness,
release your worries,
harmonize your inner light,
and become one with the dust. 
--From Tao Te Ching, Chapter 56 

No.  I'm legitimately gay, or at least bisexual.  I REALLY want a boyfriend, not a girlfriend.  I pity girls because they don't have penises (I actually wondered earlier what life would be like if EVERYONE had a penis--surely we would have tons more wars).

"People live their lives bound by what they accept as correct and true. That's how they define "reality". But what does it mean to be "correct" or "true"? Merely vague concepts ... their "reality" may all be a mirage. Can we consider them to simply be living in their own world, shaped by their beliefs?" -Itachi 

I live in a conservative family in Knoxville, Tennessee.  My family is Methodist, and everyone but my mother is a Republican (my mother is only a Democrat because she wants more money allocated to the field of education).  I am an atheist.  I am gay/bi (there's a somewhat thin line, and I decided that I like boys a substantial bit more than girls... so... gay).

John Proctor: God in Heaven, what is John Proctor, what is John Proctor?

John Proctor: Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!

John Proctor (his eyes full of tears): I can. And there's your first marvel, that I can. You have made your magic now, for now I do think I see some shred of goodness in John Proctor... (Elizabeth, in a burst of terror, rushes to him and weeps against his hand.) Give them no tear! Tears pleasure them! Show honor now, show a stony heart and sink them with it! -The Crucible

In my closeted state, I have stood by as my brothers and father boast of their hatred for gays.  I have stood by as my mother said she would hate for one of her children to be gay.  I have lied when asked about my sexuality upon not wanting to go to prom (so that I could get drunk with some of my favorite bitches, booya-peggyhill).

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.-Albert Camus  

So this life goal of rebellion.  It is a quiet kind of thing.  It's not like I just yell out anarchy all the time.  I sometimes hold myself as separate from the flow of society and see that society needs rules, though I only follow them to avoid trouble.  In this rebellion, my skirmishes, conquests, and defeats are private: only I can see the bloodshed.  Egotistical, yes.  But it still makes for one damn fine dramedy--lots of irony.

You pursue the negative. You want to not give a damn, to exist without responsibility, without faith or friends or warmth.- In Cold Blood

I feel like when I am older and have lived this life to its end I will be able to look back and tell people that I made a lot of mistakes, and that is what made my life perfect.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith. -The Bible, 2 Timothy 4:7

Not God's fight, my own fight.  I have stood up to and withstood the face of evil on this planet: close-mindedness could not take me down.  I rebelled against it.

More experience

I had vodka this time; it is by far my favorite. It did not taste nearly as much like medicine without the added flavor as did the whiskey. It was not as nasty-ass terrible as the wine. And it does not smell like beer does. I still would not choose to have it as a pleasure drink--it's purpose is explicitly to be drinking alcohol. But it's not too bad.

This time, I also tried weed. As one of my compatriots called it, "mary jane". I think I did it wrong. But whatever. I was told that the first time I wouldn't feel anything. And it was no lie. I felt nothing under my layer of alcohol. But again, could have been because I did it wrong. Whoooooo knowwwwws?

And now I introduce two glee videos that I like. One because it is a rather unique cover of a pop hit of a great artist, the other because it is the best version of the song I can find online.

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Next time, I'll try the rum. And if we happen to run out, I will Jack Sparrow it up. Sorry for just a physical update. I can't think right now because I'm reading this book called "How to Read Literature Like a Professor" whilst attempting to perform a research experiment and think about college. It's draining me mentally. So I will see you next time. I'll have a couple more youtube song videos and then I'll update again. YAY. These music posts are like my favorite songs. (I am a super fan of all the music on this blog; the times haven't changed me too much)

Glee and other Adventures

I am officially a gleeek.  I've watched 17 42-45 minute videos of the show--that's 12 hours of video (not counting loading time).  Wow, BITCHES.  Think of how much time you spend doing the mundane--eating, cooking, doing up the personal hygiene.  Then think of how much time you spend sleeping.  Like, seriously, 1/3 of your life is spent basically dead.  WTF?

Ok, so bros, I'll now go into an analysis of some of the characters I've seen so far.

Like, first off, RACHEL BERRY (trying to get web hits... LOL).  dah duh dah duh dah.  Um, so far, they are showing her as the super-talented but annoying and socially inept dreamer singer.  And uh, that's cool.

And like, KURT HUMMEL--super gay, bitches.  It's almost not even acceptable how fabulous he wants to be.  I love his role in the show, though it is intimidating that that is how many people might now see gay people.  Like, we're not all that fabulous!  Most of us are pretty simple--swimming in a sea of other simple people.  It's just that our... PREFERENCES are more sophisticated.

HAHAHAHAHA FANFICTION WITH A CHARACTER THAT HASN'T BEEN INTRODUCED ON THE SHOW IN WHAT I'VE WATCHED SO FAR!!!  http://kurtandblaine.com/ CHA BITCHES!!

So like, those are my two favorite so far.  Baby drama is just annoying.  I realize that the point of GLEE is to be way over the top about DRAAAAAMA but ya know, I can only handle so much.  ESPECIALLY when I'm not habin no babies, brah!  SOOOOOoooooo,,,,,........ . . . . . .   .    .        . AHA I FEEL HYYYYGH!!!

Um, so like, I had my first drink of poison a couple weeks ago.  Decided to call it quits at the equivalent of only 6 shots on my first go, though.  The wine just started tasting terrible--LIKE MEGA-SUPER ULTRA-DUPER UBER TERRIBLE.  In fact, all of it tasted horrible.  But the wine was the worst.  Here is a short list of my escapades:

• Cinnamon WHISKEY (legit tasted like a fireball--the hot spicy gumball-like not-gum candy)
• Normal WHISKEY (blegh)
• Nasty-ass honey WHISKEY (blegh-er)
• White WINE (OMG had to have a cherry powerade chaser)
• BEEEhEEEhEEEhEEEEEEER (NOTE: drink dis-here d'after drinking da d'harder d'liquor--not before)
• I was told that the RUM was horrible
• And as a P.S. in the middle of the S., Some of the whiskey was downed in a limeade-sprite-whiskey mix

I was hoping that the ALCOHOL would get everybody a little bit out of mind, but, ugrjh,  no dice.  It just made everybody feel swimmy.  LOL we were like swinging our heads back and forth looking at the stars 'cus it was just plain fun.  And bitches, it was fun.  One of my friends, MR. FUN TO LOOK AT--the one that allowed us to get close to this forbidden fruit--is a notorious drunk stripper.  BUT DAYUM bitches, he only downed the shorts once--AND ONLY FOR A FEW SECONDS.  TWAS DISHEARTENING.  I'm really strung out over it. OH pshaw grannies, he had boxers on.  We didn't see the fruit of his loins.

Ok so like, school starts in what? TWO WEEKS?  UGH summer, I'm almost going to miss you--though I can't wait to be stuck with my friends for hours everyday.  MUAHAHAHAHA ITS THE SHY MAN'S PARADISE!!!!

THE WINE WAS SO NNNNNN - NNNNN - NNNNN - NNNNNAAAAASSSSSTTTTTYYYYYYYY!!!